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I’m playing darts in this hellhole of a room, bored out of my goddamn mind. My sex chair? Dusty. My pussy? Same story. This place is driving me crazy—I’m so horny even masturbating feels like a chore. Should I call her? Mmm, last time was wild, but she made it clear she doesn’t like being seen. Screw it. I ring up my cock consigliere for a recommendation. While I wait, might as well fuck myself with my oversized dildo to warm up my ass. Yeeeah, baby.

Then, BAM—she shows up. Except it’s not my usual Barbie beauty; it’s some wild, red-striped-haired beast with a wicked smirk and a skirt barely hiding her massive cock. At first, I’m like, “What the actual fuck? This isn’t Barbara!” But then I see those gigantic tits and that swinging monster cock, and suddenly, I’m all in.

She doesn’t waste a second. First, her cock hits my stomach through my throat, and then she goes for round two, trying to hit the same spot through my ass. Holy shit—this is going to be way more fun than I expected.

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Adele wanted a thrill, so we took it to the water. She’s riding me on a boat, waves crashing, barely keeping steady. She’s moaning, holding onto me for balance, taking every inch. By the end, she’s soaked, panting, and ready for another round. That’s how you do it on the open water.

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Captain's log, star date 1949-928

This is the Captain, Control Tower, over. Solitude caught up with me, so I decided to get married right here at the end of the Universe. The Fucknet virtual simulator arranged for me a beautiful bride, and the ANNA 9000 artificial intelligence was a brides maid. After the ceremony, what I was waiting for finally came, a fuck of a wedding night. I fucked my beautiful bride from all sides and she greedily gave my hard dick a blow job. Wedding as it should be! Fucknet's system error also made it real wild. Control Tower, don't breath a word of this to my wife back on Earth! Captain, over.

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Daddy's little monster Harley Quinn is going to fuck her beloved psycho Joker really hard in the ARGUS bar. But then, out of nowhere, a member of the XXX SWAT unit appears, the Enchantress. She is full of rage and her mystical pussy wants to eradicate mankind. But first, she has to cross paths with the super killer maniac and her baseball/pussy bat. Sometimes it's good to be bad!

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How was your summer? My holiday letargy ended abruptly with an e-mail from a guy who wanted to wager that I won't ever convince anyone famous to have sex with me. He said he knows a young Slovak actress, hosting in one of Prague's theatres… And that's what I call a challenge! I met the guy at one of her performances and we shaked hands on the whole deal. Although I knew it's a Mission Impossible operation, I decided to track her with the determination of a horny bulldog. My plan required a lot of preparation, a detailed plan and a heavy bag of money. On D-Day, I got into my best clothes, bought a bouquet of flowers and went to see another one of her shows. Afterwards, I had to wait outside, nervous like a virgin on a first date. When she walked out at last, I introduced myself as her greatest fan and invited her to dinner. She sent me to hell, of course, but then a spark of hope appeared when she agreed to meet me for a cup of coffee the next day. The hook sank in… Her name was Lenka, she was born in Slovakia and we had a nice long chat. I almost forgot that I'm mainly there to just fuck her hard. On the way to the theatre, I had to reveal my cards. And believe me or not, she agreed (for 120.000 Crowns)! And although it cost an appalling heap of cash, fucking a celebrity right in the streets, just a few metres away from a famous theatre was priceless! I'm telling you, this is a smash. I bet I'll see it on the newsstands tomorrow. So, I'm buying some tabloids and you damn well start downloading, because I bet I won't get away with this easily.