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Bored as hell, fridge empty except for nine sad-ass eggs and some zucchini. Like, what am I supposed to do with that? I’m horny out of my mind, and there’s only one fix: that weird number a dude from the alley gave me. He promised it’d hook me up with a girl packing the biggest cock I’ve ever seen. Game on.
While waiting, I decide to multitask—pissing in the flower pot. Gotta stay hydrated, right? Suddenly, she’s here. A stunning, tattooed gypsy goddess with curly hair, a skirt that barely hides her fireman-hose-sized dick swinging underneath. My jaw drops.
She doesn’t waste time. I drop to my knees, take her massive cock in my mouth, and oh my God, the taste… I’m addicted. She rewards me with a load so big I feel baptized. Her blue balls? Absolutely legendary. And when she starts pissing on me, I realize I’ve officially become her obedient little mutt.

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Her perfect little exotic tits fit snugly in my hands as I pour oil all over them. I’m already moaning like a slut, and she hasn’t even fucked me yet. Then, BAM—her hips start moving, and let me tell you, this isn’t her first rodeo.
I’m on all fours, taking her in my ass like I was born for this. She fucks me so deep, I can feel her cock pressing against my soul. Every position we try is pure heaven. Missionary, doggy, reverse cowgirl—you name it, we did it. My ass is wrecked, my body’s on fire, and I’m begging for more.
This gypsy queen didn’t just fuck me; she owned me. I’m definitely keeping this number.

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In our recent interview, a young female subject unveiled hair characteristics that defy conventional understanding. Her scalp hair length astonishingly surpasses all previously known benchmarks. More intriguingly, her vaginal region manifests a pubic hair density and expansiveness hitherto unseen in medical literature or anywhere else in the world. Combining these extraordinary attributes in one individual is nothing short of groundbreaking. As a testament to the magnitude of this discovery, we will bestow upon her a distinguished Unusual People Award, ensuring her recognition in both scientific and world record annals.

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Thought I'd be done? Fuck no, the ride's just heating up. This time, I was itching to get into some darker action. Luck's on my side, 'cause I found the hottest teen gypsy girl. An absolute 10/10. She's fresh, barely touched, and there she was, about to handle my huge, veiny beast. A part of me felt a bit bad for what I was about to do to her…

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Lube it up, and it slides right in. Out of all the sweet pussies I've had, this one tops the recent list. My giant cock was in heaven, getting to go wild on this gypsy girl. And her? She’s never going to forget Mike 'Big Dick'. Once you've had a piece of me, nothing else comes close.

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Captain's log, stardate 1806-7

This is not how the Milky Way show has ever been. Control tower, today I went to a rock concert and in a virtual simulator detonated a real load. An incredibly hot rock star, the wild front woman showed me that with a microphone and an electric guitar you can make nice dirty things and what about that dick. In fact, I never experienced such hard rock during my astronaut training. I fucked that sexy bitch and put my microphone in her ass instead of getting her autograph. Rock wins! Captain, over.

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Hi. A functional drone so small it fits in a condom box? I didn’t want to believe it, but then I found it online and bought it. Guys, NANO 26 is an incredible device! Yesterday I tested it during a wild night — a young couple got so carried away that my footage looked like a movie scene. It was a playful experiment I had never experienced before. Look at that!

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Hey dicks! I tuned my dirty bike properly and drove off and for easy ride around town. I've stop at a spitting dirty petrol station, where lazy bald staff was taking smoke break beside trash bin. I clearly explained to them how to treat customers, and I accepted Festers girl into my biker gang. I paid her membership myself. Then I grabbed a fitness sexy pussy in the rope and I set her with a real burst of rain. Where's your umbrella, bitch ?!