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Part 1: Chilling in my room, smoking, flipping through Dean Koontz—not because I’m trying to be edgy, but because that stuff is genuinely good. Usually, metal gets me hyped, but today, it's gonna take something even spicier to get me off. So, I grab my trusty voodoo doll, light a candle, and pray to summon a monster-dicked shemale beauty. Fuck yeah, she’s here.

Turns out, my friend hooked me up with her—a big-titted, long-haired blonde with a face pretty enough to ruin lives and a cock veiny enough to star in its own horror movie. The second I see her monster cock, I’m dripping. I don’t care if this stuff costs more than rent—I need that cock inside me, and I need it NOW.

My dad would fucking weep if he saw this beast splitting me open—damn, he’d probably be jealous. And my mom too…

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Bored as hell, fridge empty except for nine sad-ass eggs and some zucchini. Like, what am I supposed to do with that? I’m horny out of my mind, and there’s only one fix: that weird number a dude from the alley gave me. He promised it’d hook me up with a girl packing the biggest cock I’ve ever seen. Game on.
While waiting, I decide to multitask—pissing in the flower pot. Gotta stay hydrated, right? Suddenly, she’s here. A stunning, tattooed gypsy goddess with curly hair, a skirt that barely hides her fireman-hose-sized dick swinging underneath. My jaw drops.
She doesn’t waste time. I drop to my knees, take her massive cock in my mouth, and holy shit, the taste… I’m addicted. She rewards me with a load so big I feel baptized. Her blue balls? Absolutely legendary. And when she starts pissing on me, I realize I’ve officially become her obedient little mutt.

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There’s never enough oil for what’s about to go down. I spread my ass so wide it looks like a crime scene, and this red-haired shemale freak can’t fucking resist. Her cock’s twitching like it’s got a mind of its own, ready to destroy anything in its path. And holy cow, does she go for it—slamming into me so hard it feels like she’s trying to evict my organs. I’m almost in the other world, seeing stars, and begging her to split me open even more. Every thrust feels like I’m being punished for something, and honestly? I probably deserve it.

But vengeance is filthy, and I’m nastier than she bargained for. When she’s done fucking me into oblivion, I go face-first into her sweaty ass like the depraved cum-dumpster I am. Her stink is all over me, and I’m licking it up like the trashy slut I’ve always been.

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We are still recovering from this. Diana came, saw and won! If there will ever be a contest for the most beautiful girl of the white couch, this lovely brunette will be the biggest star. What do you think, guys? It’s a hot babe and she knows that and can be really hot. So hot it’s very difficult to stay near her without getting a boner. But!!! This hot secretary has a boyfriend and doesn’t want to start any fucking adventures in front of camera. We’ll see what all we can get from her. Come and take a look at Diana, the goddess of sexiness! You will dream of her tonight.

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Captain's log, star date 1002-0910

This is the captain of the spaceship UNREAL PORN, can anyone hear me? Today we play the final in the Champions League. A beautiful brunette defending champion, stands in front of me. She grabbed my balls and she got a yellow card at the beginning. For her unfair play, I stuck my dick deep in her throat. The beautiful goalkeeper is the MVP of the star team and will not give up so easily. I fucked her wet pussy and cummed all over her with the final whistle. Her beautiful face sprinkled with my cum, that's a trophy for a new champion. Winning captain, over.

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Captain's log, stardate 1806-7

This is not how the Milky Way show has ever been. Control tower, today I went to a rock concert and in a virtual simulator detonated a real load. An incredibly hot rock star, the wild front woman showed me that with a microphone and an electric guitar you can make nice dirty things and what about that dick. In fact, I never experienced such hard rock during my astronaut training. I fucked that sexy bitch and put my microphone in her ass instead of getting her autograph. Rock wins! Captain, over.